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User talk:JaniceCreeps
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the Mirror Twins page. Please be sure to check out all the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! SoPretentious (talk) 03:26, May 20, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:43, May 20, 2016 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:43, May 20, 2016 (UTC) Re: Story The story was deleted because it was below quality standards. Those links in the message above under the deletion message are quite helpful. Onto the basic issues present in your story that didn't impact my decision to delete the story, but are still important to learn. First and foremost, "Doppelgänger" is not a viable category. Please look over the category warning as creating another false category will result in a one day ban from editing. Additionally you shouldn't indent paragraphs. While it is correct in literature, indenting on the wiki format can cause some pretty large formatting errors that make the story unreadable. Onto the mechanical issues present in your story. There were quite a lot of punctuation (apostrophes missing from possessive words or improperly placed "I had been over at a friend(')s house", "its’(apostrophe not needed) mouth wide open", " my duplicates’ (duplicate is singular, the apostrophe is misplaced) left arm", etc.), wording (awkward wording: "lines forming of grime that just", " I watched my duplicates’ left arm turned into a stake.", etc. Unnecessary repetition "It wasn’t just the mirror that was weird; if it was just the mirror, I wouldn’t be writing this" I suggest reading your story aloud to yourself to catch these issues.) capitalization (Improperly capitalized words. "6th Grade Dance" shouldn't be capitalized, "Right in front of me, was… Me (me)…", " I followed its arm go up in the air… Then (then), everything went black." An ellipsis indicates a pause, unless it starts a new sentence or is proceeded by a proper noun, the word proceeding it shouldn't be capitalized.), and story issues. Story issues: Here's where a majority of the issues were. There are quite a lot of plot problems. "And I watched my friends carefully, trying to figure out if the mirror was right." Why exactly is she so nonchalant about her mirror just talking to her? She doesn't even question it or try to get help when it seemingly speaks to her. Also, if the sound of glass shattering ("I was asleep, having a semi-sweet dream, when I was suddenly woken up by the sound of glass shattering.") was enough to wake up the protagonist, why didn't it wake up the parents? The story also feels pretty rushed as the mirror only says one thing before it's moved and then the next scene the mirror entity is stabbing the protagonist to death (possibly?) with its stake arm. There really isn't any build-up and tension and that makes it pretty generic considering most mirror-based creepypastas follow this same trajectory. Story issues cont.: The story also feels unfinished with their last interaction being this: "my duplicates’ left arm turned into a stake. I couldn’t move as it slowly ambled its way to me. I followed its arm go up in the air… Then, everything went black." Since you're telling the story in past tense, do you mean to say she escaped/avoided the stabbing? If so, why doesn't she mention this? It seems unfinished if you don't address how she escaped (and if she died, that creates an entirely new plot hole). Finally there's the ending: "The mirror was evil. It created my Mirror Twin.". This feels incredibly anti-climactic as the conflict is left unresolved (The mirror entity is still in the house and it's pretty clear she has malevolent intentions for the protagonist). I'm sorry, but this story needs a lot of work and really isn't up to quality standards for the site. I suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop if you were that unsure why this one was deleted even after having read our quality standards. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:16, May 20, 2016 (UTC)